Wednesday, May 1, 2019

3 Signs of Low Self-Confidence

Low Self-ConfidenceWe all feel inadequate or foolish at times. When these feelings are chronic, however, they lead to low self-confidence. People with low self-esteem develop habits and behaviors to cope with and avoid these negative, discouraging and uncomfortable emotions.

Healthy solutions to coping with low self-esteem essentially involve two options. First, you have to want to change and be willing to do something about it. And, second, you need to learn effective strategies for accepting what can’t be changed.

Thursday, November 8, 2018

The Costly Effects of Low Self-Confidence

low self-confidenceEveryone struggles with a lack of confidence at times. It is estimated that 85% of the world’s population experiences low self-esteem and consequently, low self-confidence at some point in their life.

We all know the feeling of inadequacy and incompetence. It can happen when you face a new job, new relationship, or an unknown situation. There is some comfort in knowing that you are not alone, but you don’t want to get stuck in low self-confidence because it can impact every aspect of your life. It can be at the root of disappointing friendships and love relationships, lower long-term earning potential and missed opportunities for high quality jobs and promotions. There is also strong correlation between low self-confidence and substance abuse, eating disorders, anxiety, depression, and other destructive conditions and behaviors.

How Low Self-Confidence Affects Relationships

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Self-Esteem vs. Self-Confidence: Working Together for Your Good

Self-esteem To feel successful and be satisfied in life, a person needs a healthy sense of self-esteem and self-confidence. Let’s look at what these qualities are and how they work together.

“Esteem” in Latin means to appraise, value, rate, weigh, or estimate. Simply stated, your self-esteem reflects what you believe about yourself – positive, negative, or neutral. Your beliefs in turn influence the quality of your emotions. And, in many cases, it is the quality of both your beliefs and emotions that strongly influences and shapes your behavior.

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Are You the Genuine Article?

Self-ConfidentHave you ever been tricked into buying something you thought was authentic only to find out later that you received a counterfeit? With the explosion of online shopping comes greater opportunity for unscrupulous sellers to fool buyers into investing in products that aren’t worth the price.

On the surface, it is sometimes difficult to tell the difference between a fake and the real thing. However, upon closer examination it becomes evident that the counterfeit lacks authenticity, quality and reliability. What a disappointment to realize that an expensive item like a Rolex watch, a Louis Vuitton handbag or a pair of high-tech Nike sneakers isn’t the real thing!

This is not only true for jewelry or clothing, but for people as well. It is not uncommon to find people wearing masks that portray a false image they think others want to see.

Friday, July 7, 2017

Confidence in Mind

Self-ConfidenceKristen Linaman-Weleba, MS

Has low self-confidence caused you emotional pain or robbed you of positive opportunities and desirable experiences? If so, Kristen and I invite you to follow us on Instagram – confidence_in_mind – to get the latest updates on our soon to be released online course, Confidence in Mind, along with helpful tips for building and maintaining unshakable self-confidence.

Live, Work, and Relate Well!

Dr. Todd

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

I Just Don’t Like Confrontation

ConfrontationWhile helping clients navigate the pain and frustration associated with some of their most important relationships I often hear a very familiar phrase, “I just don’t like confrontation.” The truth is, the vast majority of people fear confrontation.  The thought of confrontation often evokes fear of criticism, rejection, and/or conflict. There are multiple reasons associated with wanting to avoid confrontation, but I want to address just one of them today – fear of rejection.

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Are You Addicted to Approval?

Did you know that the less compelled you are to prove yourself to others in order to gain their approval, the more peaceful you will feel inside? And the less you worry about whether people like you, the more they will enjoy being around you?

Addicted to ApprovalThose statements seem contradictory at first, don’t they? People who are unable to internalize these truths may actually be addicted to approval.  This addiction is characterized by the irrational belief that your worth, value and significance comes from the approval and acceptance of others.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

The Wisdom of a Champion – Part IV

Near the top of Coach Wooden’s Pyramid of Success are two leadership characteristics, poise and confidence, that emerge as a result of having successfully applied the qualities of the first three tiers of the pyramid.

POISE – Coach Wooden defines poise as “being true to oneself, not getting rattled, thrown off, or unbalanced regardless of the circumstance or situation.”  In his book, Wooden on Leadership, we read, “Poise means holding fast to your beliefs and acting in accordance with them, regardless of how bad or good the situation may be.  Poise means avoiding pose or pretense, comparing yourself to others, and acting like someone you’re not.  Poise means having a brave heart in all circumstances.”

CONFIDENCE – the firmly held belief that you have achieved a high level of competence through dedicated study and preparation.  Confidence is the awareness of having consistently made the sacrifice and effort necessary to turn personal and team potential into high level performance.  Coach Wooden warns that confidence must regularly be monitored so it does not turn into arrogance or a feeling of superiority.  It is this sense of elitism that discourages continuous hard work and effort and ultimately leads to mediocrity and failure.

Live, Work and Relate Well!

Dr. Todd

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Senator Brown and the Value of Speaking Up!

Regardless of your political party affiliation you have to admit that what we all just witnessed in the Massachusetts Senate race yesterday was amazing. It was the direct result of the people of the state being willing to exercise their right and responsibility to speak up with their vote.

Only a few weeks ago it was believed that the chances of Republican Scott Brown being elected to serve in the U.S. Senate were low to impossible. This election outcome is a great example of how letting your voice be heard can bring about almost unbelievable results.

The importance and value of letting your voice be heard extends far beyond political elections and into your own home and relationships. Many people settle for poor or mediocre relationships because they are unwilling to speak up. They often don’t speak up because of their fear of being opposed, rejected, insulted, embarrassed or humiliated. Unfortunately, when you stay quiet you typically get what you ask for – nothing!

If you are tired of settling for a less than satisfying relationship in your life begin the practice of speaking up. Speaking up begins with giving yourself permission to identify what is and isn’t acceptable or beneficial to you and your relationships. It then involves learning how to value your needs, opinions and ideas so you are more motivated to express them in an open, honest and direct fashion.

When you are ready to speak up it is important to use good judgment and discernment as well as appropriate and respectful communication. Don’t worry; you will get better at this with regular practice.

If you want or need more from your relationships, speak up! Like Senator Brown, you may find yourself experiencing unbelievable results!

Relate Well!
Dr. Todd