Thursday, July 27, 2017

Are You the Genuine Article?

Self-ConfidentHave you ever been tricked into buying something you thought was authentic only to find out later that you received a counterfeit? With the explosion of online shopping comes greater opportunity for unscrupulous sellers to fool buyers into investing in products that aren’t worth the price.

On the surface, it is sometimes difficult to tell the difference between a fake and the real thing. However, upon closer examination it becomes evident that the counterfeit lacks authenticity, quality and reliability. What a disappointment to realize that an expensive item like a Rolex watch, a Louis Vuitton handbag or a pair of high-tech Nike sneakers isn’t the real thing!

This is not only true for jewelry or clothing, but for people as well. It is not uncommon to find people wearing masks that portray a false image they think others want to see.

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Do You a Have a Need to Be Right?

If we’re honest, we all have to admit that sometimes we can be driven by a need to be right. Whether you’re involved in a debate over politics, discussing the fuel efficiency of your favorite vehicle or arguing with your spouse about how to raise your children, there’s something satisfying about being proved right when the facts are revealed.

Need to be rightAt times, wanting to be right is simply an outgrowth of healthy, good-humored competition. For example, if you are playing a trivia game with a group of friends, whoever gets the right answer will probably tease other players, cheer for themselves and maybe indulge in some “trash talk” to rub it in that “I was right, you were wrong!” If everyone laughs along with the winner, it’s a good indication that the friends are confident in themselves and their relationship to one another. But if one of the players becomes angry or distressed, it may be an indication of an unhealthy emotional response to being wrong.

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Do You Act like a Puffer Fish?

puffer fishHave you ever seen a Puffer Fish? They’re unimpressive little fish who blow themselves up to big, round, scary-looking creatures when they feel threatened. Some people do a pretty good imitation of the little Puffer when they feel threatened, too.

People who feel inadequate and insecure often try to compensate by trying to appear more significant than they feel. They may brag or exaggerate about what they’ve accomplished or who they know. They demand attention and often interpret other people’s actions or opinions as personal offenses. They often put down other people in order to make themselves feel better. Overcompensating for feelings of inadequacy has actually become a rather popular pastime as social media has greatly expanded the opportunity for people to be puffed up about something and elicit support, sympathy and attention. It feels safer to express anger to the world than to speak face to face with a perceived offender.

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

I Just Don’t Like Confrontation

ConfrontationWhile helping clients navigate the pain and frustration associated with some of their most important relationships I often hear a very familiar phrase, “I just don’t like confrontation.” The truth is, the vast majority of people fear confrontation.  The thought of confrontation often evokes fear of criticism, rejection, and/or conflict. There are multiple reasons associated with wanting to avoid confrontation, but I want to address just one of them today – fear of rejection.

Friday, April 10, 2015

Are You the Real Deal?

Lights! Camera! Action! When the spotlight of life is focused on you, what do people see? Are you an actor just playing a role or are you the “real deal?” Are you willing to let people see who you really are? Hollywood actors are paid big bucks to portray a make believe character on the silver screen, but there are many people outside of “Tinsel Town” who put on a very convincing act every day without ever being paid a dime. In fact, many of them pay a high price.

the real deal You don’t have to be a Hollywood star or public figure to be concerned with the way others perceive you. All of us are involved in personal image management to some degree, and in most cases, this is perfectly normal. In fact, thinking about who you will be with and what you will be doing is a reasonable way to determine what “image” to put on by dressing and behaving appropriately in a given situation.