Thursday, September 19, 2019

Recovering from a Broken Friendship

Broken FriendshipRelationships… we were created to desire, seek and be enriched by them. When they thrive, the joy is intense. When they break, the pain is devastating.  But as difficult as it is, there are steps you can take to get over – and get through – a broken friendship.

Let me introduce you to Cindy and Lisa, who met each other at work and soon began developing a very close friendship. They spent time together on the telephone, hiking, taking their children on outings, and playing tennis. They encouraged, advised and comforted each other and trusted one another with their greatest hopes, dreams and fears.  

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

Choices that Set You Free

ChoicesIt’s a common scene on the playground: Johnny does something that annoys Billy, so Billy shouts, “Stop it!”  Johnny retorts, “You can’t make me. It’s a free country!” Thanks to history teachers, we all learn that Americans enjoy a level of freedom unknown in many parts of the world. I, for one, thank God for the opportunity to live in the land of the free and the home of the brave. But apparently Johnny hasn’t caught on yet to the fact that freedom doesn’t mean he can do whatever he wants no matter how others are impacted, especially if he wants to grow up and have a good life and good relationships.

As we mature, we begin to learn some of the choices we make every day in order to live well and enjoy life.  Here are a few:

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Getting Control of Your Anger

One of the major roadblocks to strong relationships, both at home and at work, is the inability to effectively manage one’s emotions. Of all the emotional, psychological and physical responses we experience in life, anger is perhaps the most challenging to process and control on a consistent basis.

How you choose to respond to your anger will make a difference in the quality of your relationships, your physical and emotional well being and your effectiveness in bringing about positive and constructive change in your life. Here is a list of practical tips you can use to help manage your anger more effectively.

1. Understand What Anger Is

Anger is a natural, God-designed emotional and physiological response to negative or threatening circumstances in life. When you believe that you have been treated unfairly or harshly, or when you experience frustration associated with an unmet need or goal, your mind and body prepare for action. It is this emotional and physiological response that we call anger. Anger has the potential to help us protect ourselves or others and can serve as a catalyst to bring about needed change. However, its relative value is largely determined by how we choose to respond to it. Anger is referred to as a “secondary emotion”. This simply means that it is an extension of the primary emotion of frustration.

Everyone experiences some degree of frustration on a daily basis whether associated with not being able to fit into your favorite blue jeans or the person who just pulled out in front of you on the road. The good news is that most people can keep their frustration from escalating into anger, but for some it’s not so easy.

Hurt and fear are two other primary emotions that often accompany anger. Anger is often experienced and

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Are You Still Angry?

Intimacy is the fuel that powers every couple’s emotional engine.  Without it, your marriage is likely to end up stalled in the middle of the highway of life.  If you want a sure formula for killing intimacy in your relationship get angry at your spouse and never let it go.

Many couples experience a lack of intimacy in their marriages because of the negative emotions they harbor toward their spouse.  I once counseled a woman who would not let go of the anger she felt toward her husband because of a mistake he made in their marriage over 40 years ago.  She chose to live a miserable life rather than to forgive him.

You may be wondering what has happened to the joy and closeness you once shared in your marriage.  Is it possible that you are holding on to bitterness and resentment toward your spouse because you have felt abandoned or betrayed? Perhaps it is time to let go, forgive and move forward.

When you choose to release yourself from the bondage of unforgiveness, your heart and mind are once again open to giving and receiving love.

Live, Work and Relate Well!

Dr. Todd