Tuesday, August 20, 2019

Fear – The Great Impostor

People frequently wonder what motivates them to do the things they do. Most of us desire our actions to be influenced by compassion, wisdom, confidence, fairness and love. However, many would be surprised to know that much of their behavior is influenced by nothing more than the great impostor – fear.

Fear

Fear wears many masks. Some of these masks include procrastination, avoidance, perfectionism, anger, passivity and impatience. These behaviors and emotions often reflect fears of failure, rejection, abandonment, loss of security, looking foolish and being taken advantage of. The negative attitudes and actions we possess will only change when we begin challenging our fears.

Here’s how:

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Free Yourself From Negative Emotion

Negative EmotionIn my professional practice I encounter men and women every day who are bound up in the proverbial chains of negative emotions. They are dragging their feet through life, weighed down by feelings of fear, jealousy, self-pity, anger, sadness, anxiety and rejection.

These chronic painful emotions are what often stand in the way of a person’s personal and professional success in life. Negative emotions can deplete you of energy and motivation, take away your joy and enthusiasm and keep you from pursuing positive goals for your life. It is very difficult to do well professionally or relationally if you don’t have a positive and realistic attitude and healthy emotions.

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Don’t Let Your Thoughts Fool You!

I was reading an article on the internet called the Top 100 April Fool’s Day Hoaxes of All Time and it was very entertaining. My favorite was about BBC TV conducting a prank interview with a London University professor who claimed to have created the technology to transmit odors through television. His invention was aptly named “Smellovision.” He performed a demonstration using coffee beans and onions and asked viewers to report if they detected the aromas. According to the article, numerous people reported being able to smell the coffee and onions and some even said the onion made their eyes water!

ThoughtsWe laugh at their gullibility, but we should also pay attention to the fact that our brains can play tricks on us. Sometimes we need to evaluate the thoughts we think and make sure they are based in truth and reality, because our thoughts direct our perceptions and feelings, which results in our actions. So, our thoughts play a primary role when it comes to our relationships being healthy and satisfying or contentious. They also influence our potential for success on the job, our health and our overall well-being. It’s worth a look into our thoughts!

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Tips for Conquering Fear

FearHave you ever felt overwhelmed by an irrational fear – so much so that it prevented you from doing something you wanted to do? Believe it or not, this is a common problem faced by many people daily.

Fear has the power to hold you back from taking risks, following your dreams, or becoming successful at anything you attempt to do. If you allow it to control you for long enough, it can eventually erode your quality of life and keep you locked in a prison of inactivity and regret.

Saturday, November 12, 2016

When You Don’t Get Your Way

Anger How do you respond when things don’t go your way or you don’t get what you want? The current news is filled with reports of people demonstrating their anger and rage about not getting what they want, and I am concerned that the methods too many have chosen to express their feelings are doing much more harm than good. The lack of ability to appropriately express anger and fear along with wants and needs is doing damage on a large scale in many cities, but it also impacts people on an individual level.

If it’s important to you to demonstrate maturity and self-control as well as communicate in a way that will give you credibility and reflect objectivity take the time and make the effort to be good and angry when you don’t get your way.

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Worry vs. Healthy Concern

Worry It is highly likely that within the last few hours you have given in to the urge to worry about something. Worry comes as naturally to most of us as breathing, so it is important for all of us to consider some basic questions and principles whenever worry begins to creep in to our thinking.

As a psychologist, I have worked with hundreds of people who struggle with worry, and I have found that each person has their own unique triggers, reasons and methods of expressing worry, but they also have some things in common – they either worry too much, too little or just enough.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Failure Doesn’t Exist – Only Outcomes

I talk to people every day who tell me that they don’t know how to overcome their fear of failure.  Because of their fear they often quit a project before finishing or they don’t even bother to start.

What if I told you that failure doesn’t exist? Would it make a difference in how you approach things in life?

Failure

Dr. Richard Varlinsky, in his article, Taming the “Fear of Failure” Monster, states that every time you put forth some form of action there are two possible outcomes:

Thursday, April 23, 2015

From Underperformer to High Achiever

Do you ever feel like you’re just never going to get anywhere in your career? Or that real success always seems to be out of reach? Over time, it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing you don’t have what it takes to be a star performer, but you don’t have to stay stuck there. Here are some things you can do to move you from being an underperformer to a high achiever.

achieverExamine what you believe about yourself.  Negative self-perceptions or beliefs are often to blame for why we get “stuck” in a discouraging cycle of underperformance.   We are often our own worst critics, and judge ourselves harshly. Experiencing failure is not the same as being a failure. Often the most successful people will admit they’ve failed many times on the road to high achievement. Every skill requires practice, including success. Practice by celebrating small successes. Resist the urge to downplay what went right. Instead of telling yourself what you did wrong, ask yourself what you will do differently next time in order to increase your success.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Overcoming the Fear of Change

Change is inevitable – everybody knows that.  Some of you reading this today don’t even know it used to be common for a person to start a job in their teens and work their way up the ladder, eventually retiring at age 65 from the same company!  Today, employment is much more fluid, and many people experience job change frequently, sometimes by moving on to better opportunities, but sometimes because their current job is changing due to new ownership, new strategies, new methods and new technology.

Change

Still, in spite of the new normal trends, most people struggle with change even if it’s positive. In today’s business environment, since nothing stays the same for very long, those who are unable to effectively “ride the waves” will likely find themselves drowning.  Here are ten tips to help you navigate in a changing world.

“To change is to be vulnerable. And to be vulnerable is to be alive.” Alexis DeVeaux

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Fear and Cockroaches

I meet with people nearly every day who are controlled by their fears or victimized by the fears of their spouse, parent or other influential person in their life.  They often miss out on the joy of life because they are consumed with worry about financial ruin, illness, rejection, criticism and the list goes on and on.

Fear

The emotional, physical and psychological symptoms that accompany the anxiety brought on by these fears often greatly diminish a person’s quality of life and ability to relate well at home and work.  People experiencing fear and anxiety often tell me they live with a constant sense of panic or dread that something bad is going to happen.  Or they suffer with physical symptoms like headaches, stomach cramps, chest pain, tension and fatigue.  Of course, it’s always important to check with your physician to rule out health problems, but it’s equally important to learn how your body tends to react to fear and anxiety, because long term stress can eventually lead to physical illness.  It’s a perfect example of a vicious cycle!