Thursday, July 24, 2014

Discouraged? How to Stay Up in a Down World

Looking at all of the bad news, tragedy, and hardship that floats through the world today, be it on television, the Internet, or word of mouth from friends and neighbors, there may be times where you feel overwhelmed and discouraged. Sometimes, you may even just want to curl up into a ball and stop all the noise from creating such a catastrophic uneasiness.


For many, the challenge of rising above the pain and discouragement of life is very difficult. Although you can not eliminate grief and disappointment from your life, the effective tips below can help you in your effort to stay up in a down world.

Live, Work and Relate Well!

Dr. Todd

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Sticks and Stones: The Power of Words

When most couples begin marriage counseling they typically report experiencing very low levels of marital satisfaction, which is not surprising.  It’s also not that surprising to have some couples tell me upfront that they are already giving divorce serious consideration, but thought they needed to at least be able to tell their children and families that they gave counseling a try.


One such couple recently told me that the majority of their conversations were filled with sarcasm, criticism and other negative forms of communication and neither one could stand the hurt and anger any longer.

Monday, July 14, 2014

10 Tips to Help You Stop Interrupting

In a recent coaching session, a client asked if I could help him break the habit of interrupting.  He told me that several team members had confronted him about frequently talking over them – interrupting.  They were honest enough to tell him just how much it had become a consistent source of frustration for them.  In collaboration with my client, we came up with several strategies that ultimately helped him to virtually eliminate his “communication destroyer” habit.

One of the quickest ways to shut down communication is to interrupt.  When someone repeatedly interrupts others it not only derails communication, but it also diminishes the trust and respect people have for them.

I won't tell you

If your relationships are compromised due to a habit of interrupting I encourage you to read and practice the 10 Tips to Help You Stop Interrupting below.

Live, Work and Relate Well!

Dr. Todd

Friday, July 4, 2014

Independence Day – They Paid the Price

On July 4, 1974, Paul Harvey aired his commentary, They Paid the Price, on his The Rest of the Story radio broadcast.  I have posted it today because I believe it is a great reminder of some of the sacrifices that were made in order for us to experience the freedom and liberty we have and celebrate this July 4th.

Live, Work and Relate Well!

Dr. Todd

Independence Day

July 4, 1974 – Paul Harvey, News and Commentary

Americans, you know the 56 men who signed our Declaration of Independence that first 4 of July–you know they were risking everything, don’t you?–’cause if they won their war with the British, there’d be years of hardship and a struggling nation. If they lost they’d face a hangman’s noose. And yet there where it says, “We herewith pledge, our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor,” they did sign. But did you know that they paid the price?

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Getting Control of Your Anger – Part II

In my last blog I shared the first four of seven practical tips for managing your anger well. They were:

1.  Understand what anger is

2. Control your initial response

3. Acknowledge your anger and its source

4. Tell yourself the truth


Those are the critical first steps to balancing the inner issues (thought processes) that set you up for either success or failure in anger management. Now let’s look at some external actions and choices you can make to help you put a stop to unhealthy reactions to anger.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Getting Control of Your Anger – Part I

One of the major roadblocks to strong relationships, both at home and at work, is the inability to effectively manage one’s emotions. Of all the emotional, psychological and physical responses we experience in life, anger is perhaps the most challenging to process and control on a consistent basis.


How you choose to respond to your anger will make a difference in the quality of your relationships, your physical and emotional well being and your effectiveness in bringing about positive and constructive change in your life.

Today we will look at the first four of seven practical tips you can use to help manage your anger more effectively.

Friday, June 27, 2014

Tips for Holding Team Members Accountable

If you want to jeopardize the productivity and performance of your team and at the same time compromise trust and respect, DON’T hold your team members accountable. Before you protest, “But trying to get my co-workers to do anything always causes trouble,” let’s look at some facts.

accountableIn his book, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, Patrick Lencioni lists the fourth dysfunction as Avoidance of Accountability – ducking the responsibility to call peers on counterproductive behavior that could harm the team.  Failure to maintain an organizational culture that values and demonstrates a high standard of excellence invites mediocrity, low morale, mistrust, and employee disengagement. Those are not the characteristics of a winning team!

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Women & Stress: Breaking the Cycle

Nearly every day I work with women who are feeling overwhelmed and discouraged as a result of the high demands they face in many areas of their lives.  My good friend and colleague, Paula Starker, RN, has written an informative article I want to share with you today that is packed with practical strategies that can help you break the cycle of stress.

Live, Work and Relate Well!

Dr. Todd

Stressed woman

Today’s modern woman living in our high-tech culture is being pulled in every direction. And though she has greater technology and more conveniences to assist in her daily living, the fact is that she is moving faster than ever in the history of mankind just to accomplish the basics. Suffocating demands and pressures of home life, work and relational needs can overwhelm any woman, leaving her depleted of energy and enthusiasm for life and those closest to her. Unless she takes control of her life, there is a high risk for developing “Time Urgency Impatience” (TUI) Syndrome as identified by Northwestern University (Chicago: August, 2004). TUI is characterized by persistent tension, stress and a constant sense of racing against the clock which can lead to an increased risk of hypertension and even heart disease and stroke.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Bend or Break – Which Will You Do?

When I was a kid I liked to take things apart and try to put them back together again. Besides the problem of ending up with ‘extra’ parts, I was often frustrated when a piece of the toaster, radio or whatever I was working on wouldn’t flex enough to accommodate easy removal or replacement. On more than one occasion I damaged the part to the point of rendering it useless or ineffective.

Bend or Break

Unlike pieces of hardware that weren’t made to bend or flex, humans were designed with this capacity… and for good reason. We are bombarded daily with challenges and demands that can place pressure on us, especially in our relationships.  If we want to be strong and resilient when the stresses of life come our way we need to know whether we are likely to bend or break.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

What Makes a Great Dad?

In my blog earlier this week I discussed the importance of the father’s role in the lives of his children, but what does that mean to you in practical terms? Really, the question is, “What does it take to be a great dad?” Based on my work with hundreds of couples and families, I have found that great dads consistently practice five key principles.

Little Girl Helping Father with His Tie

Raising children is a little bit like building a home. I’m not an expert in construction, but I know that if you want to build a quality home, you need to pay close attention to the details – just as a father seeking to raise “quality” kids will find it helpful to keep these five key principles in mind.