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Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Are You Together or Unified?

UnifiedYou can certainly notice when a sports or business team is unified because they tend to experience a great deal of success. Each player focuses on their role in creating a well-coordinated effort to win as a team.

The same is true for marriages. In my work with couples I find that one of the major contributing factors to relationship dissatisfaction has to do with the fact that they are together but not truly unified.

Many couples are together in that they live in the same home, share the same financial resources, sleep in the same bed, attend their kids’ Saturday soccer games and go out on an occasional date. These things are good, but they don’t necessarily reflect unity. Let me explain.

Unity is defined as the state or fact of being united or combined into one, as of the parts of a whole. This definition applies so perfectly to marriage! It goes deeper than simply being in proximity to one another. Unity in marriage is characterized by several key qualities:

Shared relationship goals: Are you both “all in” to make your marriage the best it can be? Working diligently toward growing together will result in both partners experiencing greater satisfaction. If either partner is more interested in meeting their individual needs rather than prioritizing the relationship, the marriage will be unsatisfying for both partners.

Joint participation in parenting, financial management and general decision making: After the dream wedding, life starts to get real. Practical, everyday responsibilities and opportunities occur for every couple, and they can’t be addressed by romantically gazing into each other’s eyes. Successful marriage is accomplished through cooperation, compromise, and willingness to work together.

Mutual loyalty, support and encouragement: Many of the couples I have worked with seemed to have forgotten the important principle that

Thursday, July 12, 2018

How to Write a Personal Mission Statement

Mission StatementFor years, I have been assisting men and women in their effort to clarify the purpose and direction they want for their lives. One of the tools I have encouraged them to use in this process is the Personal Mission Statement.

You have likely heard the widely-quoted statement that if you write down your goals you significantly improve your chances of accomplishing them.  This principle reinforces the value of creating a written personal mission statement to help you become who you want to be and accomplish what you want to do.

Over the years, I have gathered information from many sources on creating a personal mission statement and want to share some of that information with you.

The challenge is to write your mission statement in such a way that it will be effective, so while there is no required format or formula, the following guidelines may be helpful:

Tuesday, July 3, 2018

America, The Beautiful – Be Inspired!

America The BeautifulAs we approach Independence Day, I am mindful of how grateful I am for the freedoms we enjoy and for the people who have worked to make this a great country. Some people have contributed with acts of service and heroism, some by scientific research and exploration, some by simply working hard and living with integrity and civility in order to set a great example for the next generation.

Others have enriched our nation by their creative efforts, such as Katharine Lee Bates, who was inspired by a trek up Pike’s Peak and wrote America, The Beautiful in 1895 and Samuel A. Ward, a church organist, who set it to music in 1910.

I grew up singing this song in school and it still inspires patriotism and gratitude. Happy 4th of July to our readers!

America, The Beautiful

O beautiful for spacious skies
For amber waves of grain
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!

O beautiful for pilgrim feet
Whose stern impassioned stress
A thoroughfare of freedom beat
Across the wilderness!
America! America!
God mend thine every flaw
Confirm thy soul in self-control
Thy liberty in law!

O beautiful for heroes proved
In liberating strife
Who more than self their country loved
And mercy more than life!
America! America!
May God thy gold refine
Till all success be nobleness
And every gain divine!

O beautiful for patriot dream
That sees beyond the years
Thine alabaster cities gleam
Undimmed by human tears!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!

Live, Work and Relate Well!

Dr. Todd

Tuesday, June 26, 2018

9 Ways You May Be Holding Your Business Back

Holding Your Business BackI want to thank Brad Mishlove, CEO and founder of Catapult Groups, for providing our guest blog post for today. I’m confident you will find his insights to be very valuable in helping you move your business forward.

Live, Work, and Relate Well!

Dr. Todd

____________________________

If you own a business, it’s time to take your blinders off so you can identify any problems that may be holding you and your business back.

As a business owner, one of the costliest mistakes you can make is not knowing your blind spots. You worked hard to grow your business, and you have faith in your product.

Surveys have shown that 75% of small business owners have an optimistic outlook toward their company’s future, but the numbers don’t bear out this enthusiasm. The truth is, 70% of small businesses will fail by the tenth year, with a full 20% failing within the first year.

What’s holding your business back?

Despite feeling optimistic in the beginning, these business owners failed to see where they were coming up short. Are you setting up roadblocks along your own path to business success? If you are guilty of any of the following, you may be:

1. Not paying attention to reviews

Ignoring customer feedback is a mistake your business can’t afford to make. The internet has made it easy for people to base their purchasing decisions upon the reviews of others. Your reviews build credibility for your business by showing consumers their money will be well-spent when they put their trust in you. Your reviews are your chance to show off your excellent customer service skills.

2. Not having a great team

Your team can make or break your business, so hiring is one area where you won’t want to cut any corners. The best

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

A Dad’s Greatest Influence Is His Example

Lessons are caughtWhen I was a child there wasn’t anyone more important to me than my dad. The influence he had on my life was profound and the love he demonstrated was genuine and unconditional.

Although my dad was often busy working two jobs, keeping up with house and car repairs and helping to raise seven kids, he was able to consistently instill important values into my life.

It was my father who helped teach me about honesty, the importance of a strong work ethic, making good on promises and the difference between right and wrong. As I reflect back on the lessons learned from my dad I realize that most of them were taught through his example – not by lectures.

My dad was far from perfect, but he knew what he believed and how to demonstrate those beliefs through his actions. Dads, how are you instructing your children? Remember that the training and instruction you give through your example will have a much greater impact on your children than just your words alone!

Live, Work and Relate Well!

Dr. Todd

Thursday, May 31, 2018

What to Do When a Family Member is Out of Control

AddictionFor some people, family is the greatest source of joy in life. For others, it may be the greatest source of pain. For most, it’s often a combination of the two. In my practice as a psychologist and in my own arenas of life I have known people who were struggling with a family member – child, sibling, parent, etc. – who was out of control. Many of the situations these people face involve a loved one who is struggling with addiction, spending money unwisely, refusing to control their anger or selfishness, or who is living with a mental illness.

The almost universal question is, “What can I do?” Situations and resources vary from family to family, but here are some general principles that may help you when you have to make a decision about what to do.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Is Your Opposite-Sex Friendship a Threat to Your Marriage?

Opposite-Sex FriendshipsMarriage isn’t easy. If you’re married, that is not news to you. While being committed and bonded to someone can be the most satisfying human relationship, sometimes it takes grit and determination to get past the challenges brought on by stressors like money, sex, conflict, parenting, illness, exhaustion and even an opposite-sex friendship.

Sometimes the challenges are beyond your control or happen in spite of your best effort to maintain your marital satisfaction. But at other times, they are avoidable. One issue that troubles a lot of marriages is one partner having a close friend of the opposite sex. While many such friendships are positive, I have created a list of 20 questions you should ask yourself to make sure you haven’t crossed a line.

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Free Yourself From Negative Emotion

Negative EmotionIn my professional practice I encounter men and women every day who are bound up in the proverbial chains of negative emotions. They are dragging their feet through life, weighed down by feelings of fear, jealousy, self-pity, anger, sadness, anxiety and rejection.

These chronic painful emotions are what often stand in the way of a person’s personal and professional success in life. Negative emotions can deplete you of energy and motivation, take away your joy and enthusiasm and keep you from pursuing positive goals for your life. It is very difficult to do well professionally or relationally if you don’t have a positive and realistic attitude and healthy emotions.

Tuesday, April 24, 2018

How to Be a Person of Influence – Part II

InfluenceLast week I shared the first 5 tips for how to be a person of influence, so here are the 5 remaining tips. I encourage and challenge you to review all 10 tips frequently so that you will become a person of influence who makes a positive difference in the lives of those around you.

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

How to Be a Person of Influence – Part I

InfluenceWhen I look around our society, entertainment and political arenas today, I wish there were more people who reflect the kind of positive influence that inspires, motivates and encourages others to live a successful life. In order to cultivate great marriages, families, businesses or communities we need to look for people who are willing to effectively and positively influence those around them.

If you can’t find one, BE one! If you want to be a person of positive influence, consider integrating the tips outlined below into your daily life.

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