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Thursday, November 7, 2019

Keys to Talking with Your Teen

 

Talking with your teen

Knowing how to engage in constructive dialogue with your teenager is one of the most important skills a parent can possess, but it is also one of the most challenging things to pull off well. Generally speaking, teens are not always eager to participate in a “serious” conversation with their parent(s). Nevertheless, by understanding how to effectively talk with your kids you can decrease the occurrence of destructive conflict and increase the likelihood of sending the message to your child that they have been heard and that they are valued and respected.

Your teens face important issues every day. Their ability to make good decisions about drugs and alcohol, sex, friendships and school performance is significantly enhanced by open, honest and direct communication about these issues with you. The stakes are high – one bad decision can literally affect a teenager for the rest of his or her life. When you have constructive dialogue with your teen you are also modeling for them the tools they can rely upon when encountering their own difficult conversations with peers, supervisors, spouses and, someday, their own teenager.

Tuesday, October 29, 2019

When Your Fears Are Real

Facing real fearAs Halloween approaches, we are surrounded by scary images. Giant spiders, grinning skeletons, ugly witches and flickering jack-o-lanterns can give you the creeps as they seem to pop up everywhere you look. You may be brave enough to venture into a haunted house and allow the ghouls and ghosts to scare you out of your wits, but deep down, you know it’s not real. Before long, you come out into the light and tease your friends about how loudly they screamed.

If only every scary thing in life were so simple! The incidence of anxiety is increasing in the US, thanks in part to the speed with which we can hear or read a barrage of bad news all day, every day. Many people are afraid to let their children play because they’re sure they will get hurt or a stranger will kidnap them. They worry constantly about the state of the nation and are convinced the world will end soon. Some people are panicking over every minor ache or pain because it could be some new disease that was just discovered overseas. If you’re looking for a reason to be anxious, just click into social media or turn on the news.

Often these fears are irrational, exaggerated and unlikely to ever actually happen. Of course it’s important to supervise children appropriately. Yes, we need to be informed about national events so we can vote according to our values and consciences. It is always wise to live a healthy lifestyle and check out persistent symptoms with your doctor (not just Google). But living in constant fear of everything that might happen will steal your energy and your happiness.

Wednesday, October 16, 2019

Relationships Under Construction

Relationships Under Construction

For many of us, few things are as irritating as having a road you frequently travel come under construction. You often have to deal with dust, delays, bumps and detours for many months. The upside to having to endure the challenges of construction is that if the job is well done it will make your future travel much easier and enjoyable – the same is true for relationships under construction.

Like roadwork, successful relationships, whether at home or work, require a process of assessment, planning, and construction. Whether you are building a new relationship or attempting to improve an existing one, if you fail to adequately prepare and build you will not be able to effectively meet the demands that come your way.

Monday, October 7, 2019

Growing Through Change

The beginning of Autumn signals a welcome relief from blistering summer heat in some parts of the country. In others, it is the harbinger of dark, cold winter coming. Regardless of where you live, seasonal change is inevitable, but growing through change in your own life involves a choice.

Seasonal changes almost always require adjustments – to the thermostat, to your choices about what to wear, to your favorite warm or cold meals and drinks, and to your activities. But whether you’re reaching for an ice cold water bottle or a pumpkin spice latte, it’s time to say, “See you later” to the passing season and “Hello” to the new one!

Seasons of life aren’t always about the weather, of course. They’re about natural progressions and cycles that occur in our lives that include birth and death, youth and maturity, practice and mastery, needing and giving, sickness and health, gain and loss. Changes are inevitable, and yet they can still cause us to feel a bit off-balance at times. When something changes in your life, here are some simple principles to help you choose to adjust:

Thursday, September 19, 2019

Recovering from a Broken Friendship

Broken FriendshipRelationships… we were created to desire, seek and be enriched by them. When they thrive, the joy is intense. When they break, the pain is devastating.  But as difficult as it is, there are steps you can take to get over – and get through – a broken friendship.

Let me introduce you to Cindy and Lisa, who met each other at work and soon began developing a very close friendship. They spent time together on the telephone, hiking, taking their children on outings, and playing tennis. They encouraged, advised and comforted each other and trusted one another with their greatest hopes, dreams and fears.  

Wednesday, September 4, 2019

The Advantages of Teamwork

Times are changing in the world of work these days. Technology has made it easier, more efficient and more cost-effective for a lot of people to work remotely from home (or anywhere). There are tremendous benefits for people who require flexibility in their work schedule due to childcare, eldercare or their own physical or mental health concerns. Besides, it’s amazing to be able to do your job while lounging on the beach or sitting in a coffee shop!

But as helpful as it is for some people to telecommute, it can also lead to isolation and loss of focus if not managed well. Your success and satisfaction in your job may depend on making it a priority to spend time regularly with others in your workforce.

So, for those of you who are spending a lot of time away from the office and for everyone who is working in a company facility with co-workers, I want to share some of the advantages of teamwork.

Thursday, August 29, 2019

Self-Talk: What Are You Saying?

Self-TalkSelf-talk is what psychologists refer to as the continual mental dialog you have with yourself. It can serve many purposes. It helps to release stress, evaluate potential threats, solve problems, make decisions, form objective judgments, generate positive emotions and behaviors, and construct and reinforce realistic self-beliefs. Simply stated, sometimes talking to yourself (either silently or out loud) can help you work things out.

“The most influential and frequent voice you hear is your inner-voice. It can work in your favor or against you, depending on what you listen to and act upon.” –Maddy Malhotra

Unfortunately, for many people, their self-talk is fueled by the internal voice of a brutal critic or what psychologist Eugene Sagan calls the pathological critic – the negative inner voice that attacks and judges you. It might sound like your own voice or your mother, father or other influential person in your life. It’s a voice you are so familiar with that you hardly even notice or question it, and consequently find it to be very believable. It sounds completely true when the voice says how inadequate, weak, stupid or unlucky you are.

You can tell your pathological critic is in control when you…

Tuesday, August 20, 2019

Fear – The Great Impostor

People frequently wonder what motivates them to do the things they do. Most of us desire our actions to be influenced by compassion, wisdom, confidence, fairness and love. However, many would be surprised to know that much of their behavior is influenced by nothing more than the great impostor – fear.

Fear

Fear wears many masks. Some of these masks include procrastination, avoidance, perfectionism, anger, passivity and impatience. These behaviors and emotions often reflect fears of failure, rejection, abandonment, loss of security, looking foolish and being taken advantage of. The negative attitudes and actions we possess will only change when we begin challenging our fears.

Here’s how:

Tuesday, August 6, 2019

Where’s Your Focus?

How would you describe the quality of your life right now? Is it satisfying, positive and fulfilling or painful, difficult and discouraging?

Focus

Perception is reality

No one can deny that life can serve up some pretty harsh challenges. However, your quality of life isn’t based on circumstances as much as it is on what you choose to focus on. There are many things in life that we can’t control, but the good news is that we can control what we choose to think about. You see, what you focus on becomes your reality. Every day, it is your focus that influences what you feel, see and experience.

Wednesday, July 24, 2019

It’s Summer! Are you Hot Under the Collar?

Hot Under the CollarI think we can all agree that the weather has been a bit unusual in many parts of the country this year. It’s July, and some people are wondering if they will ever be able to put away their sweaters and winter coats. But many others are experiencing the summer heat with higher than average temperatures.

Extremes in the weather can have an effect on your physical and mental health, your attitude and your temper. This can lead to a greater level of stress, fatigue and irritability. Some of the factors to consider as you endure the hot days are: