Have you ever been tricked into buying something you thought was authentic only to find out later that you received a counterfeit? With the explosion of online shopping comes greater opportunity for unscrupulous sellers to fool buyers into investing in products that aren’t worth the price.
On the surface, it is sometimes difficult to tell the difference between a fake and the real thing. However, upon closer examination it becomes evident that the counterfeit lacks authenticity, quality and reliability. What a disappointment to realize that an expensive item like a Rolex watch, a Louis Vuitton handbag or a pair of high-tech Nike sneakers isn’t the real thing!
This is not only true for jewelry or clothing, but for people as well. It is not uncommon to find people wearing masks that portray a false image they think others want to see.
The difference between a fake brand name and a person trying to project themselves a certain way is that one is motivated by greed and the other is usually motivated by insecurity – or a lack of self-confidence. To varying degrees, people simply want to be accepted, and some find it difficult to believe that they would be accepted “as is.” The false front may show up as bragging or even lying about experiences and capabilities. Or it may be manifested in people-pleasing – always saying, “It’s fine with me,” when it isn’t fine at all.
I enjoy working with people as a psychologist and executive coach because it doesn’t take long before I begin to see the “real” person who is no longer trying to deny his feelings or make a favorable impression in order to be accepted. When people come to recognize their intrinsic value and appreciate themselves for who they are, they feel as though they have been set free.
Genuine, self-confident people are not afraid to let their imperfections show or to express how they really think or feel. We are wise when we understand ourselves and are honest about it rather than being foolish by trying to deceive others.
The surprising result of being honest about your fears and insecurities is that people are more likely to be drawn to you. Not only that, but once you accept yourself for who you are, warts and all, you will likely find that you are more tolerant of the imperfection of others. With the walls of deception torn down, real communication and relationships can occur.
Let’s face it: No one appreciates or trusts a counterfeit or an impostor. Allow yourself to be the genuine article and break free from your mask!
Can you think of a time when you realized you didn’t need to hide behind a false image? What boosted your self-confidence?
Live, work & relate well!
Coming this fall! Relational Advantage will be releasing our online course, Confidence in Mind: How to build and maintain unshakable self-confidence. Our course will teach you practical ways to overcome your self-doubts and develop genuine confidence. More details will be provided as we get closer to making the course available.
Dr. Linaman is a psychologist and executive coach providing counseling and professional development services to individuals, couples, work teams and organizations.